Brain Overload

How does this happen?

I start a project.  I fully intended to see it through until it no longer serves its purpose.  Then, somehow, I loose steam.  I stumble.  I falter.  And, the next thing I know, I'm behind.  Does that ever happen to you?  Please, say yes!  I'd hate to be the only one this happens to!

Believe me, when I created this blog, I fully intended to post regularly.  But, then, I started to over analyze the list of possible blog topics I had floating around in my head and I'd think, 'I'll decide tomorrow.'  But, of course, tomorrow came and new topics popped into my head and I just never was quite able to pin down what I wanted to post about.  And, so it is that it's been 2 weeks since my last blog post.  Sorry!

In an effort to simply produce something - to get over this writer's block - and to get my creative juices flowing, I will share with you the two topics that are floating around in my head today.  I warn you, both topics are incomplete in thought, but I suppose I don't have to have all the answers right now, right? RIGHT?!

Topic #1
Yesterday, I read I Miss the Village, an article by Bunmi Laditan.  In it, Laditan, a mother, was mourning the village she never had.  The village where mothers did their work side by side.  The village where your children were everyone's children and where compassion took the place of judgement.  It was a beautiful piece and spoke to our innate human desire for connection and community.

If you have been following this blog, then you know that connection and community is an area I wish to focus on in the coming year.  I am lucky enough to have a 'village' among the special needs families with which we are connected (one of the many blessings of having a child with a disability).  But, I recognize, other people aren't as lucky as I am.  And, I firmly believe our congregations should be places where compassion overtakes judgement, where 'my' children become 'our' children, and where we work side by side - in short, a community.

My question is - with the religious roots of our faith grounded in Protestantism, a firm unwavering commitment to congregational polity, and a belief in the inherent worth and dignity of the INDIVIDUAL - will we ever be able to put our own egos aside in favor of community harmony?  Can we stop throwing temper tantrums when things don't go our way?  Can we make room for those who may worship differently, for fussy children (or adults) in the sanctuary, for those who see their way of life slipping away?  What do we do when needs conflict?  And, how do we get from here to 'the village'?

I don't think I know, but I hope you will be open to exploring these questions with me.

Topic #2
So, as I have mentioned before, life is hectic.  I've been dabbling in mindfulness for a few months now in hopes that I can combat the stress that rules my daily life.  Certainly, mindfulness is not something that can be mastered in just a few months (especially if all your research has been focused online), but I find that I am now more aware of when I am NOT being mindful - such as today.

Today, is a beautiful day.  The sky is overcast, the temperature is around 65*F, and the air is crisp.  It is the perfect fall day.  Of course, it's not fall.  It's summer.  Tomorrow is bound to be another hot and muggy day.  The kind where sweat drips off you the moment you step outside  But today... today it feels like fall and so I am aching for it to be fall.  I am daydreaming about corn mazes and haunted houses.  I am reminiscing about last year's Halloween costume and wondering what we'll do to match it this year  And, I am digging through the recesses of my mind, trying to come up with the name of a farm that offers apple picking (I don't think I actually know any).

How is it that we get to this point, where we wish our lives away?  Children have this wonderful ability to live in the moment.  Could we, as adults, ever regain that talent?  And, if we did, would we have to give up all of our executive functions?  That wouldn't be very sustainable.

How do you live in the moment?  How do you find peace in this chaotic world?  Help a lady out here!

Thoughtfully,

- Ms. Meredith

Seeking Center

Did I ever tell you I'm super woman?  Shhh! Don't let anyone else know; I can't give away my secret identity...

Super woman to the rescue!

Okay, so I'm not really super woman.  But, sometimes it feels that is what I need to be just to get everything done.  And, there is a lot to do - taking care of my daughter (feeding, diapering, playing, etc), tending to her special needs (ordering equipment, making and taking her to her appointments, filling out paperwork), cooking dinner, and taking care of the house - just to name a few!  And, because my husband works second shift (he gets off until 1am), more often than not, I am the one who bares the brunt of the burden.  On top of a full time job, you can imagine how easy it is for small things to fall through the cracks.  So, I hope you won't hold it against me when I confess that when I left for GA my house was a wreck.  I'm talking mail covering the kitchen table, toys scattered everywhere, laundry piled in baskets, sticky floor wreck.  What can I say, the small things pile up!

Now, imagine my surprise when I arrived home last Monday and found the house nearly spotless!  While I was away my dear sweet husband and mother in law cleaned nearly every room of the house (laundry room and basement excluded).  He said he worked on it for several hours each night, and I can believe him.  

Perhaps my most favorite room in the house is my brand new office!  Located in my daughter's old bedroom, the walls are covered in bright geometric shapes.  Right behind my desk is a section of wall that has been painted in chalk board paint, and another section that has been painted in dry erase paint.  It is furnished with a hodgepodge of old furniture from our past lives - a worn desk my husband picked up at a garage sale, an ugly desk chair pulled from the trash, a relatively new bookshelf and filing cabinet, and a small writing desk from when I was a child.  And, let me tell you, I love it!

A picture of my desk area.

A picture of the bookshelf and filing cabinet.

My most favorite part of my new office, though, has to be that small desk from when I was a child.  Relatively useless to me as a child (sorry, mom and dad), I have big plans for it now.  I hope to make it into my home altar.  I imagine filling it with precious possessions - momentous that remind me to STOP, BREATH and CONSIDER what is really important in life.  Certainly I'll place a chalice in there, and I am thinking of adding pictures to the underside of the top.  I also really love the idea of creating and adding meditation stones, similar to the yard art seen at Refreshing the Home.

Yard art Stones from Refreshing the Home.

Currently, the only thing on / in the small desk is an incense holder and matches.  I picked up the incense and incense holder at Trader's World.  The incense holder resembles a boat.  It is decorated with golden suns, stars and moons.  I keep it at the top of my desk to remind me that life is a journey.

The small writing desk has a slanted surface with a
small flat spot at the top, perfect for the incense holder.

The inside of the desk holds nothing but a can of
matches.  I hope to fill it with objects I find sacred. 

As I fill the small desk, I hope to use it daily.  Most of all, I hope it helps me find my center.  With all that is on my plate, that is something I desperately need.

- Ms. Meredith

P.S.  Do you have a home altar?  Use the comments and tell me what you have on it.  I'm always looking for inspiration!